Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Griff
...That the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap... Any chance to quote Bull Durham must be taken.
|
Try reading her essays which are what she is best known for.
OK, now back to topic. Mystic, my critique would be the same as the one I gave you before. You write in a rambling style, and the reader becomes bewildered and lost in the dense thickets of words.
I also get the impression that you have not finished thinking through the ideas you toss out. My second suggestion would be to sit down and decide exactly what conclusions you wish your readers to arrive at with you. State your premises and thesis in the first paragraph. Go through your writing with an editor's hard hearted soul, and slash your words down by about half.
Grammar and spelling DO count (as many on this board have reminded ME). Poor sentence construction and bad grammar will loose you your reader as fast as anything else. Take a brush-up course at the local community college.
I think you may have some interesting ideas beneath all that rubble of verbiage. Clean it all off, so that your thoughts have room to breathe!