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Old 12-14-2004, 10:27 AM   #1
russotto
Professor
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,788
Bah Humbug: No Xmas in 2005.

Do not read if you've got the Christmas Spirit.

I present my top-N Reasons To Cancel Christmas Gift Exchanges in 2005

1) I don't know what some people want. I haven't seen them in months, I don't know what they have, I don't know what they like, how the f---- am I supposed to know what to get them?

2) My father's the man who has everything.

3) No, I don't know what I want from other people either. I don't want much, and what I do want is generally expensive, of the type I want to pick out myself, or both. Yes, I know I'm a pain in the ass; let's call the whole thing off.

4) Of course I'll say "Oh, thank you for the gift". I'll think "Dammit, I didn't get you anything. And now I'm obligated to get you something next year. And I sure as hell don't know what you want." How was I supposed to know my girlfriend's sister would buy me a gift?

5) The King of Prussia mall and mall parking lot. Enough said.

6) Internet shippers who lie about ship times.

7) Gift wrapping. Yes I'm bad at it. No, you don't have to point that out for the umpteenth time. And no, just because it was wrapped nicely doesn't mean I had it professionally done or that my girlfriend did it; sometimes I DO get it right.

8) My mom says "Christmas is for kids." Fine; I'll get stuff for my nephews, they don't have to reciprocate, and we'll call off the rest.

9) I'm Jewish. Technically. And no, that doesn't mean I'll do Haunnakah.

12 gifts to buy, down to 3 left -- at least until #4 came into play and I found out about it "in time".
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