[Catwoman]

Stacey I really feel I need to comment on the waitress thing. Before I do, please listen to lookout and noodle, I think they've said it all.

I have a pretty successful job, and I get paid a pretty good salary for someone my age. The ad industry is incredibly competitive, and very 'cool'. Most people would say I'm really 'making it'.

Leaving aside the fact that I HATE this job, do you know what I do at the weekends? I waitress.

It's a smallish bar/cafe that is sometimes busy and sometimes quiet. You sometimes get wankers in there, and you sometimes get interesting, nice people. Sometimes I have an opportunity to talk to them, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I have to clean the toilets.

Now, I'm earning good money in my day job, why the fuck would I want to clean toilets at the weekend for £5 an hour?

I watch people. Even if I don't get to talk to them, I watch everything. Couples who hate each other, people making polite conversation, drunk old women, wise old men, different languages, people on their own reading newspapers, women doing their mating dance, men doing their mating shuffle. It's fascinating, you see so much of human nature in this one little bar, and I get paid for it too!

If you like watching people (and we all do) this is the perfect environment. Working in my little bar has taught me loads about other people, and myself. Try talking to someone about something real to you, ask them about love, about life. Ask what they can tell you, you'd be surprised, and even if you don't directly learn from what they say, watch how they say it, this will probably tell you more.

'Only' a waitress? I can't think of any other occupation (apart from maybe hairdressing) that allows you such open access to people and life. Make the most of it.

People can think you're a bit dim if you're a waitress. But you know what this means? They're happy to tell you things, think they can teach you, they're not worried about opening up to you. Take advantage of this and learn as much as you can. This is what I'm doing, not for money, for enjoyment.

Stop thinking you're a 'difficult' person. You're no different to anyone else - if anything you have a slight edge over the competition: you're open and honest, which is rare, believe me.

You also have the self-awareness to know you need someone to support you. Many women would never admit to this. Your choice is between safe and risk. Be safe in your miserable relationship, or risk your happiness by getting the fuck on with your own life, stop thinking about men, look around you and wonder at everything, with no ties to hold you back.