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Beestie had some great comments. Too bad I don't have the necessary situation in which to use them.
When I was pregnant, a guy I worked with had the nerve to actually tell me "Hey, I didn't know you were pregnant!" (at 6 months it was pretty obvious). I told him "Oh, you just thought I was REALLY getting fat...like I was sitting around eating doughnuts all day, didn't you?" I then laughed like he had told the best joke all day. He shut up.
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