[lookout123]

here is the thing - the funeral is supposed to be for the survivors. that is why i don't go. i don't need closure, and it sickens me to look around a roomful of teary eyed people who didn't care all that much about the person when they were alive.

my grandfather's last brother passed away a few months ago. some of the extended family got pissed because i refused to take part in a big memorial that they had planned. i spent the last ten years writing letters back and forth to him, recording stories of his youth, WWII, life afterwards, and all that jazz. the man was fascinating. they wanted me to bring the recordings and journals and read some of the letters. i told them all to piss off. i had invited most of them at various times to be included in these events while he was still alive, but they were too busy. screw 'em. if they really cared or were interested they would have been interested while he was alive. i don't have the time or the inclination to teach them who he was now that he is gone. and i think he felt the same way. i had asked him for many years if i could take a video of some of his WWII experiences for the DDAy museum archives in new orleans and he had always refused. about a month before he died he traveled across the country, and handed me a tape. he said it was the only one in existence and he wasn't going to tell anyone else about it. after his death i made one copy for my uncle who was also very close to him, and that is it.

all that to say this - pay attention to them while they are alive, the funeral isn't that important.