[Elspode]

My wife is quite the coniseur (HTF do you spell that, anyway?) of toys in all their pulsing, throbbing variations. Everything from the classic Sears catalogue, lovely young lady rubbing her smiling visage against the "facial massager to ease tension", to devices that look as though they were conceived by Venusians to use on the dreaded Bugblatter Beast of Tra'al.

Somehow, we seem to always end up returning to the basic, classic designs. The only overarching requirements seem to include a firm, powerful, but not-too-fast vibratory rate and a commodious working relationship with exotic lubricants.

The little fingertip jobbies are comfortable and precise, but tend to lack a vibratory intensity which is suitable for our needs. The multi-mode "egg" designs do not wear well, probably due to the need for a corded remote to operate them. The only other drawback we've discovered to various devices is that, the more supple and refined they are, the less durable.