[Cyclefrance]

Seeing as no.2 son is off to OZ for at least 6 months next week:


An Australian ventriloquist, visiting New Zealand, walks into a small
town and sees a local sitting on his porch, patting his dog. He figures
he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog. Mind if I speak to
him?"

Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?"

Dog: "Doin' all right."

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock.)

Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?" (pointing at Kiwi.)

Dog: "Yep."

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good - he walks me twice a day and feeds me great tucker."

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief.)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either .. I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool."

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded.)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at Kiwi.)

Horse: "Yep."

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regular, brushes
me down often and keeps me in a barn to protect me from the elements."

Kiwi: (total look of amazement.)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Kiwi: "The sheep's a f--king liar!!!"

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