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This was the opening joke of the training I'm attending today and tomorrow:
There was a synagogue that was having a problem with squirrels. The squirrels had gotten in and infested the rafters. They would pelt the congregants with nuts as they were attempting to daven. The minyan was coming up short because one of the fellows was allergic to both fur and nuts. The Haddassah were at their wits' ends because the squirrels were nibbling the embroidered cloth covers off the Torah and stealing from the emergency basket of yamulkas. The Cantor was certain that squirrels do not keep kosher!! The squirrels were frustrating to all, and they approached the Rabbi. The wise old Rebbe Zimmerman pondered a bit and consulted the Talmud. "The Squirrels," he said, "are creatures of God and therefore they may live in God's Temple."
The Lutherans just down the street had a similar problem. Their squirrels were extra active because they would nibble on the grounds from the coffee urns. The Lutheran Elders met and decided that they would relocate the squirrels. At great expense they engaged the services of a squirrel trapper, who used no-kill traps to catch all of the squirrels. He transported them far into the woods before releasing them. All of the squirrels returned the following week and headed straight for the coffee urn.
The Lutheran minister and the Jewish Rabbi met with the Catholic priest whose parish chapel was just down the way from the church and the synagogue. Nothing there wasn't so much as a nutshell or squirrel in sight, they asked him if he also had a squirrel problem. "Yes," the priest said, "We did."
"You did? What happened to the squirrels?"
"I baptized all of them and welcomed them into the Catholic Church. Half of them don't show up at all anymore, and the other half only stop by for Christmas and Easter."
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