I've got a book too. "Screw The Bitch" from Loompanics Unlimited. Amazon has it.
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I would also like to add that the biggest problem for me is the affair changed my entire world view. It shatttered what truths I thought existed. My wife could not only love me, but another man. I htought I was special to her, and we were special. That is no longer true. I still feel very insecure about everything.
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It's an uphill battle to get centered again after having the future snatched away. It's too easy to be bitter and paranoid. Time heals all (non-fatal) wounds, but the scars remain.
