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At some point, you need to make the difficult but necessary decision to get off the roller coaster. There's two people that need you to stabilize: your son and you.
The sooner you can take ownership of the pain she is causing, the sooner she will cease being in control. If you don't let her make you feel better with her good moods and comforting words then you are similarly not letting her hurt you when she gets cold. It won't hurt any less right away but you'll heal a lot faster because your emotional state won't be linked to hers anymore. Easier to type up than to do, I realize, but necessary nonetheless.
Consult an attorney. Privately. Better to have heavy artillary ready to deploy and not need to use it than to get blindsided with your guard down.
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