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Originally Posted by marichiko
As a matter of fact, no I don't think you know how he feels about losing you. That first sentence of yours that I quoted has got to be one of the more callous things, I've ever read.
Like, "Would you please stop bothering me with the fact that I am causing you pain? This is all about MY pain! Mine, mine, mine!
And the dude WAS obviously in danger of you leaving, since you, in fact, are. You want him to have the comfort of being with someone who loves him without bothering to return the favor yourself. Your words make me think of the attitude of an ex-boyfriend of mine who was fooling around on me. "I'm fine with things the way they are. What's wrong with YOU?"
I very much doubt your husband is a glutton for pain. He is doing everything he can to make things work and have you stay around because he loves you. I'm sure he would be delighted to love you sans pain.
You come off as arrogant at best, heartless at worst.
Either decide the man and your two kids are worth it to you and give it your best shot, or else walk out and be done with it. Everyday you linger on, knowing damn well there's nothing in it for you, only increases the emotional damage to him and, possibly, the kids, as well.
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Oh, ouch. Okay, calm down, its not as bad as you took it. If I sounded callous that is what my truth usually sounds like (I felt no need to sugar coat it). I simply meant that it's understood that shes causing heartache to him and and in my situation,I regret it to the very core of me, If I could forget and lose myself in him I would, in a heartbeat. But If you let him throw all his emotion into yours someones going to break. By either saying fine anything to make it stop, I will concede, or fuck it anything is better than this psycho person. I was not saying suffer in silence, just to find self comfort, try and have conversations
always, if you feel like your spinning your wheels, end conversation and try later on. Thats all I meant, you will probably think that is horrible too but that's ok, I've been called worse( but heartless did hurt a little bit, even from a stranger). When I said danger of losing me, that was throughout the relationship, not about what is happening now. I never said I was a genius at explaining things, but I am much better at it in person(IMHO).
Therapy was more than "do stuff" I just didn't go into full details, it would be boring, but then again there was some sex talk, and a midget. I do want to keep my marriage, I am giving it my best, and Mr. chimm does need some independence from me, he might find that I am a callous stuck up bitch, and he could do better. No I don't want a "fling" but I will not be marrying again, at least not from where I stand now. I just met you so no heiney photos, that takes at least 2 weeks
