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Bruce, I've been around the marriage/LTR block more than once - to the point where I'm weary of making the trip. I've been on both sides of the equation we've been talking about. What I've noticed is that when a couple begins to get this polarized, its almost impossible to undo the damage. All that happens is that they get further and further into their opposite corners. The one who is feeling smothered is afraid to let the walls down for a second for fear the other's emotion will pour in like the ocean through the break and they'll end up drowned. The one who needs some reassurance feels that if they let go, their partner will vanish never to be seen again. It takes two very self aware people to work this impasse through. We pick partners (subconsciously) who will have the greatest difficulty giving us what we most need. Our partners demand from us the one thing that we feel it impossible to give. Until we do some inner work and begin to figure out why we place ourselves in these spots over and over again, we'll never be able to resolve anything with the people we chose as partners.
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