Lookout, I have an acquaintance who is going through a nasty custody battle with his ex wife who has been diagnosed with histrionic personality disorder. The psychological evaluation of her has played a major factor in the court's decision making process, and it looks as though this man will be awarded full custody of his kids, so don't automatically discount any psych evaluations that your wife might ultimately recieve.
I gotta agree with Clodfobble - sure there's lots of folks running around who shouldn't even be allowed to raise a colony of bacteria on a petri dish and still have kids, but most of those folks do not have children with a responsible other parent who fought them for custody.
If a friend had made the following statements to you over the past couple of months, what would you advise him to do on behalf of both himself and his son?
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they both go out a lot and party though. for a year or so she would meet with some of the ladies from church for a Bible study. as boring as those chicks were i have to admit, that she has never had her head screwed on tighter than she was then. she quit that earlier this year, right about the time she started hanging out with the work chicks more, started smoking again, and drinking a little more. there is some history of substance abuse so i'm really just hoping and praying that we aren't back there...
it is hard for her to even keep a normal schedule...
my expectation is that she won't be home before the bars close, cross-eyed, mean drunk. spoiling for a fight. just a guess...
she got home at 2 last night, my sister driving her. apparently, she was going above and beyond trying to get attention from any random guy last night. when she got home she was bitching that she has lost her ability to judge age. i asked why and she says that she thought everybody at the bar was her age, but they were all 22-27. i then pointed out the obvious - most 34 year olds aren't hanging out in cheesy danceclubs until 2 in the morning. she was a little pissed...
bad bad night. we were with another couple and she got smashed, although she says she barely has a buzz. not too many 122 lb girls can drink 14 beers in a 5 hour period and only be a "little buzzed"...
cruel. insulting. provocative. she brought up an incident from 6 years ago that has been long settled. except now she says that i've never told her the truth. she has known exactly what happened since shortly after the event - but apparently has recently decided i'm lying.
well, she hasn't said anything substantial or even looked at me in a day and a half now. that would be the time when i let her know that i've gotten rid of all the alcohol in the house (including my favorite bottle of scotch ) and that we will not be bringing anymore alcohol in. i am well aware that she can drink when she is not around me and this doesn't solve anything but i think was a fairly symbolic slap across the face and notice that some of this crap is over - right here and now...
then she said that she, of course, would need to keep the house so our son can have the continuity of living in the same home. it literally tore me apart to see her reaction when i asked if she really thought i was just going to be a weekend dad and leave him with her...
she mentioned that she had consulted a lawyer on monday (the day after i threw out all the alcohol)...
yeah. don't know what to say. we had a long ago scheduled family vacation in disneyland from friday until earlier today. obviously with all that is going on and not going on that should have logically been cancelled. mrs lookout begged everyone (my family) to carry on, so we did. we were to leave mid afternoon on friday after she got off work. late afternoon we still hadn't heard from her. she came home smashed. she had left work and went to the PGA event. she was spoiling for a fight but i held my temper and calmly told her that i was disappointed she would have so little respect for me, our family, etc. i told her she could stay home or climb in the truck to head to disney - her choice. either way, the rest of us were going because i wasn't going to disappoint little lookout. she got in the truck and "went to sleep"
she woke up pretending nothing had happened and life was grand...
the psych eval is not completed because she hasn't finished her interviews - but either way there is no criminal conduct so there is no reason to drag the psychologist into court...
he basically said that YES he has identified something real, significant, treatable...
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Earth to Lookout: The woman has a serious drinking problem and should not have sole custody of a 4 year old boy. Fight for your son with all the ammunition at your disposal!