[Elspode]

Lookout, please don't take what I am about to say/type as flippant or disrespectful, because it isn't. Okay, it is going to be a bit crude and boorish, but I want to make sure I'm getting the fundamental message across to you. I know exactly what you are feeling right now - however, I now have 14 years of perspective behind me, and so I'll just tell you what I found out when I went through what you are experiencing.

Right now, you feel rejected, belittled, hurt and uncertain of yourself. You feel like you weren't good enough to keep the love of your wife and mother of your child. Right now, I'll bet you are questioning everything you ever did or said with her, wondering how you could have been so wrong, and wondering why you couldn't see it sooner and make up for it.

Screw that. You *are* a good and fine person. You *will* look back on these days and wonder why it hurt so damn much...and there is nothing that will help you start on the road to that end any better than the first piece of ass you nail as a single, divorced father.

The sooner you get out there, strut the package, pull out the old stuff, unencumbered by the deteriorating years of marriage, the better. When a bitch has ripped out your guts and handed them back to you, minus 40% for legal fees, the only answer is to find a piece of strange and let her remind you of the man you really are.

For some stupid reason, approval is like a magickal healing drug, and nothing says approval like a woman who wants you to give her the Lookout Layout. So line up a babysitter and start making phone calls. Start planning your recovery. In particular, look up that little hottie you've run into at parties a couple of times...you know - that one who made it so obvious that she wanted to do nasty things to you, but you couldn't, becuase you've always been married. The one who would have done you right there in the coat closet if you'd given her half a chance? There is no time like the present, and I guarantee you that, for a few hours at least, it won't hurt.

You do this a few times, and your attitude will turn from "No one wants me" to "stupid bitch, look what she ain't gonna get no more." Meanwhile, thanks to the miracle of Enhanced Self Esteem, you will be a better father, a more rational divorce correspondent and a guy with a big smile on his face that everyone wonders about.

There was never a more satisfying moment in my relationship with my ex than the night she stood banging on my locked bedroom door while I was inside banging on a lovely lady friend. I don't think she saw that one coming...

Be well, brother.