marichiko

Well, I wouldn't call it a jungle of narcissist and psychopaths, but they most certainly are out there, and an encounter with one is more likely than most people realize. I personally have met two. I think I am somewhat susceptible to the breed because my own Momster had strong narcissistic tendencies. I know how to "do" being with a narcissist. It feels so familiar and hooks me back into my own family of origin issues.

I now know to avoid the "fixer-upper" guy - the handy woman's dream. N's and P's always tell you such tragic stories and they seem almost perfect and surely the love of a good woman is all they need. All the women before you just didn't love the poor boy enough or in the right way or have the intelligence and caring instincts that YOU do! Wrong! They had these things to excess, probably just like you do.

Early on a narcissist will often even warn you not to trust him. He'll say, "I'm no good," or "I never seem to be really able to love anyone." My former narcissist, the "ax murderer", as I have fondly nick-named him, informed me that he shared the same birthday as Benedict Arnold. He told me that every woman before me ended up telling him he had no heart. They were right.

Your best protection is to develop a healthy set of boundaries and avoid wounded birds like the plague. A man who has been divorced is one thing, but a man who has been divorced 4 times, has a long string of love affairs that never lasted, and a number of ex's who refuse to ever speak to him again is another. Someone who is "too" perfect just might not be what he seems. In the words of Diana Ross, "You can't hurry love." Take is slow, and look very hard before you leap.

No, there's not a narcissist or a psychopath hiding behind every tree, but at 10% of the population, there are enough of them to make it necessary to be aware of what you may be getting into.