[Kozmique]

My dad never did anything that wasn't embarrassing. He used to hand out "grammar police" tickets to strangers who weren't even talking to him. He also used to fart and then evaluate the smell ie. "That wasn't bad, actually it was quite pleasant." In public. Once we were at the museum and I was about to say something I'd recently learned, he let out a really loud one right as I was saying "I heard that..." and he said "I didn't!" There were lots of people around too. He was morbidly obese long before it was an epidemic. He would go out wearing shorts, a way too-tight T-shirt, long black dress socks, and sandals. Once when I was of drinking age he showed up at the bar I was a regular at, wearing only one shoe. He said it was because he was swimming in the ocean during a storm and got dashed against some rocks, and lost part of his big toe. He managed to get the email of one of the other regulars and then continually spammed her and also told her a lot of personal info about me & my family. Then he disappeared for a month and when he turned up wouldn't tell anyone where he had been. Strange guy. I rarely talk to him anymore. Every one of my friends who has ever met him has some kind of bizarre story to tell.