The Cellar - View Single Post - Merry F'in Christmas

kerosene · 03-07-2006, 08:39 PM

I just read this thread and I have a little bit of advice...take it, don't take it...whatever you think...but consider some of these points:

It is extremely familiar, in that I could see myself in some of the behaviors your wife exhibitied earlier in the thread and now, I see my husband's exes behaviors in the later parts of the thread...you know, the parts where she is a conniving lunatic? Well, all I can say is make sure your lawyer is sharp. It wouldn't hurt if you got some information from a few of the father's rights organizations. I don't know about Arizona, but here in Colorado, they say joint parenting, but what they really mean is the woman gets what she wants and the man dishes out the $$$. Barring some kind of vulgar crime in her past, it seems there is nothing that can bring down these kinds of bitches, though a kid's father may be obviously more fit a parent. Sick and sad. I saw it all from the sidelines and couldn't contain my anger at how skewed the system is in this way. And her lawyer was a true flunkie.

Savor every moment with your child right now. Don't move out of the house. If you have to, get her to move out first. Don't do anything that could possibly ever be construed as not being able to spend time with your son. Save every conversation you have had and have with your wife (ex, I mean). Write down every time you spend even a few moments with your son. If he ever indicates to you something negative she has said, write it down. Never say anything negative about your wife in front of or within earshot of your son (I know, common sense and you wouldn't do that anyway.) If you have been ordered support on a temporary basis, pay it on time...or early. These are just a few suggestions I have based on the experiences my husband and I had when he was fighting this. By all means...NEVER allow anything about relocating out of state to be included in the decree. A common sleaze tactic some women use is to get a restraining order, so then that gets you away from your son. They are so easy for women to get with minimal or no real proof, especially in a divorce situation, so, beware. I know you haven't probably done anything threatening at all but that doesn't matter to the courts...they always figure "better safe than sorry" with those kinds of things, so you would be left trying to prove your innocence.

Okay, so all that out the way, I am truly sorry this is happening to you. I know a lot of us have experienced similar struggles so we can tell you that things will be so much better in time. It has been about 2 years for my husband and things are quite "normal" these days. It takes a while, yes, but I think in the end you might be glad it happened...it will teach you a few things about yourself.

Oh yeah, and hope beyond all hope that your judge doesn't turn out to be a former criminal defense lawyer and single mother.

03-07-2006, 08:39 PM	#282
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	I just read this thread and I have a little bit of advice...take it, don't take it...whatever you think...but consider some of these points: It is extremely familiar, in that I could see myself in some of the behaviors your wife exhibitied earlier in the thread and now, I see my husband's exes behaviors in the later parts of the thread...you know, the parts where she is a conniving lunatic? Well, all I can say is make sure your lawyer is sharp. It wouldn't hurt if you got some information from a few of the father's rights organizations. I don't know about Arizona, but here in Colorado, they say joint parenting, but what they really mean is the woman gets what she wants and the man dishes out the $$$. Barring some kind of vulgar crime in her past, it seems there is nothing that can bring down these kinds of bitches, though a kid's father may be obviously more fit a parent. Sick and sad. I saw it all from the sidelines and couldn't contain my anger at how skewed the system is in this way. And her lawyer was a true flunkie. Savor every moment with your child right now. Don't move out of the house. If you have to, get her to move out first. Don't do anything that could possibly ever be construed as not being able to spend time with your son. Save every conversation you have had and have with your wife (ex, I mean). Write down every time you spend even a few moments with your son. If he ever indicates to you something negative she has said, write it down. Never say anything negative about your wife in front of or within earshot of your son (I know, common sense and you wouldn't do that anyway.) If you have been ordered support on a temporary basis, pay it on time...or early. These are just a few suggestions I have based on the experiences my husband and I had when he was fighting this. By all means...NEVER allow anything about relocating out of state to be included in the decree. A common sleaze tactic some women use is to get a restraining order, so then that gets you away from your son. They are so easy for women to get with minimal or no real proof, especially in a divorce situation, so, beware. I know you haven't probably done anything threatening at all but that doesn't matter to the courts...they always figure "better safe than sorry" with those kinds of things, so you would be left trying to prove your innocence. Okay, so all that out the way, I am truly sorry this is happening to you. I know a lot of us have experienced similar struggles so we can tell you that things will be so much better in time. It has been about 2 years for my husband and things are quite "normal" these days. It takes a while, yes, but I think in the end you might be glad it happened...it will teach you a few things about yourself. Oh yeah, and hope beyond all hope that your judge doesn't turn out to be a former criminal defense lawyer and single mother. Last edited by kerosene; 03-07-2006 at 08:43 PM. Reason: forgot something