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Originally Posted by Pie
Since I don't have kids, this question is purely academic to me -- is it even possible to work out your own child support arrangements with your ex, instead of having the state dictate it?
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Absolutely--the state would rather not deal with you at all, in general. Many states have clauses that say if you want to go back and change something down the line, you must pay to go to mediation first. Their top priority is getting through the overloaded docket as fast as possible. My parents had a completely screwed up, intensely complicated custody arrangement that no judge on earth would have wanted to be involved with, but because they both went before him and said, "We've agreed to do X, Y, and Z and our lawyers have drawn up the paperwork here," he said, "Wonderful, I so order it--next case."