[kerosene]

Originally Posted by Elspode

As the resident physiopsycho-sexual therapy recommender in this thread, I just want to say that, with a good lawyer on your side, you'll need to worry *far* less about who you see for a bit of mutually agreeable adult shagging that your ex will need to worry about the whole substance abuse issue. And, if things get nasty, that sort of stuff will come up, but I still say that level headed adult behavior beats being a hopped up single mom any day.

By all means, be discreet, be adult, be mature...but I don't believe you have to be celibate. It isn't like you're going to be putting on a Copenhagen sex show in the tot's playroom, after all. Your mental health (and a healthy sex life, especially in times of stress like this, is a critical component of mental health) is going to be sorely tested during the divorce and subsequent years. (Don't think for a moment that once the divorce is done that your agony with her stops...you have a child together, and whatever *you* think is best for that child is likely to be diametrically opposed to what she thinks, even if she might have thought you right before the divorce).

You're going to need to take care of your self-esteem and your positive self-image in order to be the man you're going to need to be.

Rock on, my brother.

Thank you, Elspode. I wish I had had the eloquence to tell my husband this 2 years ago when he was going through this situation. Your posts continue to provide necessary inspiration.