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Originally Posted by Brianna
My quasi-boyfriend is in London and has been since Jan. He's working. I emailed him yesterday and this is what it said: There may be more who offer you consolation, but I will always love you.
I hate myself.  A lot. |
QUIT THAT!
Do you think that maybe it's the fact that he WON'T commit or even be (remotely) monogamous, that makes you keep trying? It's not really "hard to get", but sometimes I think that when we have somebody that we KNOW we are not right with, but that a-hole acts as though they don't need us cuz they have lots of others, it makes us wonder what is wrong with
US. And then you say to yourself, "why doesn't he love me?" Is it
ME? And you get stuck in trying to get the jerk you'd never stick with anyway to just treat you like you're worthwhile! I actually see it a lot more with "strong" people than you'd think. Because we do feel like we have worth, and we'll keep fighting/working/begging/annoying the jerk until we finally get the respect and admiration we *know* we deserve.
Ok, this is just a theory of course, since I don't know you, but I find that when I think of my STBX in this way, it makes it easier to keep from romanticizing about our marriage. (which was HORRIFIC and is finally ending after 22 years) You can change your feelings from "I love him and need him" to "I'm just having a hard time because I feel like he doesn't want me, but I don't really
love him".
That said:
