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Originally Posted by lookout123
my reaction? "who cares?" i couldn't even express interest. every time she walked away my friends are telling me i'm an idiot. after explaining that i just wasn't up to the task (task - since there was no challenge) they had the normal guy responses about who cares about tomorrow, focus on tonight, blahblahblah.
my thought was - this chick is exactly what i would describe to anyone wanting my definition of the perfect fit for me. but i'm not at a place where i can even conceive of having anything approaching a healthy relationship and the thought of using that one for a one night stand... just couldn't do it.
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Why does it have to be one or the other? Perhaps you should try telling the next perfect girl all of this--explain that she's very nice, intelligent, etc., and maybe awhile down the road it would be great, but right now you're not in a place where you can have a relationship. Maybe it'll turn out SHE'S just coming out of a painful separation as well, and is only throwing herself at you in an attempt to build up her own self-esteem again. Maybe you'll find a sincerely lifelong friend with no "relationship" expectations at all.
Which is all a sneaky way of getting yourself to be able to see women as good friends again, which is step one to being interested in another woman again someday.
