[chainsaw]

Gotta love The Family Guy… Here's a few of my favorites...

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.
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Peter (when he's hung-over): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum. (Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur
skeletons.)
Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.
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Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
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Peter: A guy at work bought a car out of the paper. Ten years later, Bam! Herpes.
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Stewie: Hello, mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.
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Peter: (Grabs the microphone at a fast food restaurant) Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.