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The end of last week was really tough at work. I am taking this week off before starting my new gig at the same company. It's a tough place to work; it's an all-star company with lots of successful people.
Even though my career has been successful, I'm still insecure and fragile. When the SVP gave me the negative feedback from my previous manager, tears came to my eyes. I was able to explain to him how the company failed me in several ways and he agreed with me. But, I could not do the strong male thing, I acted more like Terry Hatcher, fragile and hurt.
My new manager took a walk with me to say that he really wanted me on his team. He said that we all have projects that managers are disappointed about for whatever reasons, so it wasn't a strike against me. And it looked to him like my last project was successful anyway.
My feelings must have made an impression. Later that day, the CEO stopped by and said that he was glad to hear of my new position in the new group where the company can benefit from my experience. One of the marketing guys stopped by to say similar things. This was good; I'm someone who needs to feel the love.
Since I joined in January, the plan was for me to do a project for one manager and shift over to the other manager. Everyone agreed to this months ago. I got the feeling the first manager (too young at 27 yo) was giving me a parting shot with the negative feedback.
The new manager is more my age and the project is stuff I've been doing for the last 9 years. My new concern is that everyone expects me to be good at this new job and the expectations are very high. I could do a great job and people could be disappointed it wasn't a greater job. I'll always find something to worry about.
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