marichiko

Yup, out here in the sticks, you have to wait a god-awful time for a phone line.

I have wondered about returning to this board yet one more time. The thought crosses my mind to do it for spite, but that’s hardly a productive use of my time. I’ve made some good friends here, and they are what draw me back.

I find it ironic that I have been as open and honest on this board as on very few others that I frequent, yet it is on this board, that certain people continue to accuse me of lying. This interests me for more reasons than one.

I want to someday write my story, and, naturally, I’d like to be believed. In all due humility, I think mine is a story that needs to be told. And I’m very curious about the psychology of the response of “normies.” Patrick can write about his son, and that’s OK, but God forbid that a person with a disability ever speak up for themselves.

My theory is that people don’t believe me because I don’t come off a stereotypical person with neurological damage – whatever that stereotype might be. I write too well, for one thing, although my spelling is a source of constant mirth around here.

And I think, also, that for some people it is scarey to contemplate falling out of the safe middle class as I have due to a disability. We don’t want to believe that very bad things can happen to decent, hard working people here in the good old USA.

For the record, I worked for 30 years until I gradually became too ill to continue due to prolonged, chronic carbon monoxide exposure. I had been at various times, a professor, a teacher, and the head of a library. At the end I was getting fired from janitorial jobs – one of them, ironically enough, for a car dealership. I ended up becoming homeless for about three months until I was finally awarded my SSDI. My award sum is low because I stupidly continued to try to work for car dealerships, etc., for very low wages. SSDI is weighed most heavily toward your recent quarters of earnings.

I have a car because I was able to buy a second hand one from my SSDI back pay. SSDI is no more welfare than old folks accepting their social security check is every month, BTW. My ex who turned out to be a very clever con made mincemeat of me because my memory of the years right after the CO exposure is non existant. I estimate that he got away with around $13,000, but I’ll never know for sure.

Flippant/Atropos is a real person who sometimes used my computer and is not me. I sometimes drink a glass of cheap wine. I smoke tobacco cigarettes.

By the way, gas in my part of the world is $3.10/gal.

Oh, and I just went back through and read a few of the posts on this god-awful long thread. I love the diagnosis of BPD made by someone who has never even met me or talked to me in person. Wolf has a degree in geography, I beleive, and Brianna - well, I won't go there although she obviously has no compunction about making that trip herself.

I am not even going to discuss such a ridiculous diagnosis further. Life is too short.