[lookout123]

the not quite ex used this week to fine tune her cruelty skills. she had a breakdown regarding her ability to be a good mothera few nights ago. at the time i went to her aid in the interest of my son who deserves to have a somewhat healthy mother.

the evening turned into a veiled "it can't work between us, can it?" session. she knows she still owns my heart, and i'm well aware of it. i used what restraint i possess but was truthful. i told her that i didn't know if anything could ever work between us at this point because of what has passed, but i do love her. i explained that in order to pursue that train of thought would require her to cut ties with some people and actually fess up to something that have been denied up to this point. she was receptive.

i was well aware that it wouldn't happen. i'm not delusional. my requirements for even starting down that path are pretty... aggressive.

even so, she was able to break what was left of my heart open on the rocks and smear the the pitiful remnants into a wonderful sign that simply read, "HAHA"

bitch. every foul name you can think of for a person. except i still love who she can be. the person she rejects.

whatever.