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In the lab, I assayed the venom doses delivered by S. invicta workers before and after flooding them from their nests with water.
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Get a real job. Can you picture the guy in a lab coat, surrounded by huge glass fish tanks the size of swimming pools, sending out little rafts of fireants, or sneaking up to fireant nests and pouring tanks of water of them? Don't scientists have something better to do?
And
how did he "assay the venom dose"? I like to think he threw a fellow lab technician, naked except for a swimming costume, onto the raft.
Maybe he could get in touch with the naked pig lady and they could do a double act.