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Kevlar vests are made from the expoliated body hair of Chuck Norris.
Norris produces enough hair for 300 vests each day and donates them all to law enforcement.
The only thing strong enough to cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris so he must scrape off the hair with his own fingernails.
If Chuck Norris ever dies NASA has obtained the rights to use him as a re-entry vehicle.
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If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
- Louis D. Brandeis
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