[extemporaneous]

hey, im not a felon, all my charges were dropped. and i dont know any of you, but your thoughts are all really helpful, thank you. i could sit and type and help to explain the circumstances which help shape my psyche...here i go. i was adopted when i was 9 months. i lived with a rich family in a rich suburb always had food and clothes and shoes...my father and mother split when i was 2 i found my mom dead when i was 5. my father came back to protect his reputation and my brother (also adopted, 9 years older than me) became a doper and moved out. my father, always abusive, turned the knob on my door around so for the next 8 years of my life i knew nothing but school, books, and the 4 walls of my room. my dad wanted his life back so when i 12 he put me into a boarding school. linden hall in lititz, Pa, $25,000 a year. i stopped eating never socialized and started cutting myself so the pressure would go away. i could never cry. he picked me up from school and dropped me off in philly he told me to live on the street for all he cares. i became a drifter. i've lived all over met many people heard beautiful artwork felt music and rested my head on a pillow made of concrete many times. in the same time, i always managed to sift through the amazing, kind men to the scum that clogs your drain. i let history repeat itself several times. i once dated a sociopath. my front tooth is now crooked. im sure you like basements brianna because my sons father didnt have you locked in one for 2 days while he was on pcp and i was 4 months pregnant at the time. a knife to your throat surely changes your outlook on life. and for the record i did no drugs when i was pregnant. i hit a blunt or two and smoke some cigarettes but that was simply to help my nerves. i have horrible anxiety and now im struck with ppd ontop of my multiple identity disorder. but in the long run i've found that silent films are filled with sound....dudley on the other hand is a computer tech. he works all day i stay home (oh yea, home, by the way, is dudley's engagment present from his father) and clean and take care of kit the cat. 'dudley' has a roomate, pretty much his brother from another mother, jason. it's a good place for me to be living at the moment. im happy, for the most part, and i live with two people who honestly care about me and i can say the same for them. my oceans never been this calm. dudley's getting married in a year. he knows it i know it jay even knows it but until then im sure the dick will be good lol. maybe i feel like i do because i've never felt this way before ... content ... we make music (piano/guitar) and cook and watch movies and laugh and smoke weed and make baby dinosaur noises and keep each other warm at night and i hope this helps you understand where im coming from just a little i dont know what else to say except for i wish our water was turned on its so hard to live without it.