[breakingnews]

So last night around 10:45 p.m. I was at my computer looking at porn, when suddenly the calendar on my wall began swaying back and forth, initially a slight waver, but quickly growing more pronounced. At first I thought it was just a strong breeze through the window, but that was simply impossible, based on the calendar's position. Then I started feeling unsteady, like that wobbly, nauseating sensation of stepping off a boat after a lengthy trip. I thought the three bottles of beer I had just drank were about to make a return trip to the outside world.

Then the news arrived via the P.A. system - i.e., my aunt's incredibly loud horn - it was an earthquake!

Reports said it was a 5.9 magnitude, epicentered about 100 miles southeast of Taipei. That doesn't sound very big to me, but the 1999 quake that killed 2,400 and destroyed 50,000 buildings was a 7.6, reports say.

I've never been in an earthquake before! Kinda neat, although living on the 13th floor of a high-rise building made it slightly nerve-wracking.

Anyway, that is all. Carry on.