My DearOne has a PhD in Physics...he's not in academia however, he's a software developer for a university.
Not all of em are ijits....really
But I think you get from a person you're involved with what you personally think you deserve from that person.
Call it self fulfilling prophecy...for example - you think "I will never find a man who treats me well:" The net effect on your life is: the only men you find don't. Remember...you get back what you put out there. Sometimes moreso.
Seriously - it's what happened to me - when I decided, and started to believe that I deserve the best out of life, well, he just fell in my lap. I'm now living 3 states away from where I grew up, learning to drink sweet tea and speak southern, and planning a wedding.
It'll happen if you change your mindset