[Cyclefrance]

Irish guy is walking down a road one night when he hears a woman screaming - so loud it sounds as though she is in real pain or trouble. The Irsh guy rushes to where the sound is coming from and discovers a house with the door ajar. He enters and finds that the screams are coming frrom an upstairs room. He calls out and a woman cries: 'help me, please help me!'

So he rushes upstairs and finds this woman on a bed in the last stages of giving birth - the baby's head is showing.

'Bajasus! you seem in terrible trouble - is there anything I can I do to help?' he asks.

'Yes, yse, pull out the baby! Please!'

The Irish guy gets hold of the baby and eases him out. It's a boy. Holding him gingerly, he asks 'There, he seems all right but he's not making any noise - is there anything else I should do?'

In a panic, the woman shouts 'Oh God, yes, hold him by his feet and give him a good smack on his bottom!'

'Right, I will that.' He says - then with the baby dangling upside down held by his feet, he starts to smack him:

'..and don't (smack), go in there (smack), again (smack)!'