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Their is such a thing as alienation of affection, even among adults. Sis may be taking one hundred dollar wads of bills from Gram's purse with the one hand and using the other to soothe Gram's fevered brow. She may be telling Gram any number of outrageous lies about you, and how SIS really loves Gram - not you. After all, look at how you are "deserting" Gram.
If the rest of the family is functional enough, you might have a meeting with them and express your concerns. Maybe, all of you can get SIS thrown out of the picture. There is also something called Adult Protect Services (or some variant) in each state. They watch dog cases exactly like the one going on in your family. It might not hurt to call your local social services and get some info - for future use, at least.
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