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I think an important factor to bear in mind here, is that as human beings, we all have the capacity to be unreasonable at times. Not every case of an otherwise lovely partner not doing the thing that will make life easier/happier or fairer for their spouse is because the spouse didn't ask in the best way. Sometimes that partner is just not being reasonable. Likewise not everything a spouse tackles with their partner is tackled appropriately and reasonably. We all at times operate to a doublestandard: it comes from having an individual perspective on the world. One can instantly see what one percieves to fair in regards one's own situation, but may not instantly percieve what's fair or not for someone else.
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