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Shawnee123 · 02-06-2007, 11:18 AM

I need help.

I keep thinking I am getting a handle on things and I keep falling back into the hole.

I have no problem advising my friends that life will get better and it's worth living.

Lately, my financial problems are not getting better, and my job is getting worse.

I've come so close to walking out of my job...this job that saved my life 5 years ago, this job I used to love, that made me feel important, that gave me some relevance in this shithole world.

They keep piling more and more on our department, historically the most underpaid and overworked, underappreciated department...while I listen to other counselors laughing and joking in each other's offices for a large part of the day.

I'm not saying we're better...I'm saying we're at least as valuable (with close to 50% of our students receiving some sort of financial aid there wouldn't be a school without us.)

I'm at my wit's end here. I think I want to see if I can find Valium on the street or something. I sometimes get so upset I want to punch something, or hurt myself. I just want to give up. This anger arises as I watch things going on around here...it's become so damn political and phony...I feel helpless, like a wild animal cornered who comes out fighting.

My boss even agrees that we have been under SO much pressure for SO long something has to give. She is pretty calm, but she makes money more equal to her tasks, too, and has a very spiritual life that I think helps her. Not much help to me, being agnostic.

I don't know what line of work I could change to. I'm so tired of students mad at us because we have to follow regulations. I'm tired of crunching numbers for hours to reconcile millions of dollars. I'm tired of working late nights to recruit (what admissions supposedly gets paid more for), to process the thousands of records we get from the DOE. I'm tired of hearing the whining, the crying, the "you people are screwing up my life." I'm tired of the thankless, compensation-less, stressful days. I'm tired of students complaining about their financial situations when I'm just about two steps away from homelessness and despair.

I just don't know what to do. The pain is becoming more that I can bear. My two anti-depressants are not making a ding in the kind of stress I am feeling. I can't even afford the 25 dollar co-pay on a med check at this point in time.

I wonder what I have done to deserve this. The rational side of me KNOWS things could be so much worse...but when you're mired in the mud of despair that doesn't sink in very well, no pun intended.

Thanks for listening.

02-06-2007, 11:18 AM	#48
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	cries for help or just plain whining... I need help. I keep thinking I am getting a handle on things and I keep falling back into the hole. I have no problem advising my friends that life will get better and it's worth living. Lately, my financial problems are not getting better, and my job is getting worse. I've come so close to walking out of my job...this job that saved my life 5 years ago, this job I used to love, that made me feel important, that gave me some relevance in this shithole world. They keep piling more and more on our department, historically the most underpaid and overworked, underappreciated department...while I listen to other counselors laughing and joking in each other's offices for a large part of the day. I'm not saying we're better...I'm saying we're at least as valuable (with close to 50% of our students receiving some sort of financial aid there wouldn't be a school without us.) I'm at my wit's end here. I think I want to see if I can find Valium on the street or something. I sometimes get so upset I want to punch something, or hurt myself. I just want to give up. This anger arises as I watch things going on around here...it's become so damn political and phony...I feel helpless, like a wild animal cornered who comes out fighting. My boss even agrees that we have been under SO much pressure for SO long something has to give. She is pretty calm, but she makes money more equal to her tasks, too, and has a very spiritual life that I think helps her. Not much help to me, being agnostic. I don't know what line of work I could change to. I'm so tired of students mad at us because we have to follow regulations. I'm tired of crunching numbers for hours to reconcile millions of dollars. I'm tired of working late nights to recruit (what admissions supposedly gets paid more for), to process the thousands of records we get from the DOE. I'm tired of hearing the whining, the crying, the "you people are screwing up my life." I'm tired of the thankless, compensation-less, stressful days. I'm tired of students complaining about their financial situations when I'm just about two steps away from homelessness and despair. I just don't know what to do. The pain is becoming more that I can bear. My two anti-depressants are not making a ding in the kind of stress I am feeling. I can't even afford the 25 dollar co-pay on a med check at this point in time. I wonder what I have done to deserve this. The rational side of me KNOWS things could be so much worse...but when you're mired in the mud of despair that doesn't sink in very well, no pun intended. Thanks for listening. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby