Quote:
Originally Posted by seakdivers
Geeez wolf....bore us again....lol....
number two on your list is weirding me out..... do I want to know?
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Probably not, but ...
It's like this.
Dude was a bad drunk before he fell down a flight of stairs and snapped his spinal cord, a worse one afterwards. Mr. Winky didn't work no more, so in order to keep his fluids from either backing up or just randomly pouring out into his boxers (which, given the amount of liquid intake necessary to get yourself to a blood alcohol level of over .400 happened quite often) he had to insert a catheter to relieve himself. Well ... of course, dumbass gets hauled in for driving his motorized wheelchair in traffic, and we end up with his drunk, obnoxious, and smelly ass.
Usually giving him his little cath kit and the urinal is a job handled (ha ha) by one of our menfolk. Just my luck, there are only female crisis workers on that night, the ambulance was out picking up some other crazy guy, and I couldn't Tom Sawyer anyone in Nursing to take care of this little problem for me ... they were too busy with stuff on the ward.
So, there I am, having the unpleasant task of holding the urinal in position, while Mr. Dumbass is drunkenly fumbling with his malfunctioning unit and basically spraying pee all over his lap and my ambulance litter because he can't hit the broad side of a barn with the end of the cath, much less not twitch long enough to get it into the urinal.
I do not get paid anywhere near enough to do this.