Essentialist Explanations - a collection of "definitions" of various languages. Some are excellent, some are pushing it a bit.
Some examples:
"Dutch sounds like a drunk Englishman speaking German."
"Flemish is, as its name phonetically suggests, essentially Dutch while vomiting"
"Australian English is essentially what happens to you after living in isolation for too long."
"Scots is essentially English, only funnier."
"Cat is essentially the endless repetition of the phrase "Now! Now!"