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Eh, Jenni is much the same way, in that she lets people walk all over her. She's gotten a lot better about it, mainly by my pushing.
a) I agree with slang; what you did was appropriate.
b) Again, I agree with slang - ask your brother what he was doing forwarding a private correspondence. Tell him that you're disappointed.
Talk to his wife and ask her what the problem is. My sister and Jenni had a kind of schism, and I approached her about it. More than likely, his wife feels hurt in some manner. Specific advice is hard to give here 'cause you haven't told us much about what she actually said, but I would definitely approach her. Be diplomatic and keep your cool, but ask her why she would say such hurtful things.
c) Talk to your husband about this and say "I'm uncomfortable when he's around. He's rude and I don't want to spend any time around him." Your husband doesn't need to have friends that, at the very least, don't respect you for being the love of his life. He's probably someone that both of you should avoid, and perhaps you should bring that up to your husband.
If you let people take advantage of you, they will. Stand up for yourself - because no one else is going to do it. You don't need to be rude or mean or pushy, but don't let other people pull that shit with you either. Polite but firm is the way to go.
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