In business, it's often difficult for both people comprising a couple to have full careers and still have time for each other. A compromise is often reached in which one career becomes secondary to the other. Their home life then revolves around the person with the primary career. This includes budget, location, social life ... etc. It often starts out centered on the one who's career brings in the most income; but, need not continue that way indefinitely. Before the person with the secondary career becomes obsolete in their profession, the couple can agree to exchange roles and live within the new structure it brings to their lives. Neither one of them may be as successful in business as they could have been had both fully pursued their individual careers; however, they may have created the circumstances necessary to be a successful couple.
Perhaps you and your wife can reach an understanding with regard to time management so that one predominantly pursues polyamory while the other supports the household. Then the roles can be reversed. In the business analogy, the interval between reversals might be measured in years. For polyamory, it could be measured in weeks or months (you'd have to find a comfort zone that you can both live with). Once you've worked it out to where you are both getting about the same amount of time to pursue your interest(s), the shear number of relationships each of you have will be of less significance. It's still quality over quantity and the one with fewer relationships could very well end up being the more content. Either way, wouldn't it be nice to know that you get to go back home to someone who, by mutual agreement, has been looking after the homestead? Wouldn't you be more comfortable reciprocating if it were for a specified period of time (so you could see the light at the end of the tunnel)? Third parties who aren't a threat to your marriage should be accommodating.
