You're right. The metaphor is probably broken. But it is still true that I want to be with my family. Different shore, same shore, Dinah Shore, whatever. The one with my family--that's the one I'm heading toward.
I'm not in jail yet, yay! We have had a few good talks, and a few good arguments. The talks were good because goodwill resulted from them. The arguements, not so much. They were "good" because they were rip roaring arguments. Not good, not productive.
That right there, that inability to argue constructively is one of our biggest problems. We're for sure arguing now, still, but it's through expen$ive proxie$. Better we should just learn to work out our differences better.
gah. who said it? somebbody said let them work it out. Man, that sounds appealing. I want to work it out, I just don't know how, when anything I say can be read as an attack on her. How do I do that?
We have so much to go on, and we're stuck arguing about he said she said. It's really discouraging. Even at this stage, we need to communicate. I want to communicate. To make myself understood, and to understand her. At this point, we're talking with legal papers, and even those are confusing. Can't we just, you know, talk? Understand each other?
How the hell do all you people do it?
rkzenrage, you are excused from answering. I read many of your posts about how your brutal candor has eliminated all marital friction, speeding all husband and wife communication along shining steel rails unimpeded by any emotion. I'm not capable of that. *My* heart's in it, 100%.
How would you all suggest I communicate with her?
I'm not ready to file my own divorce papers yet, and the longer I can defer that decision, the better. That's not communicating, that's telling. I'm looking for some mode / method / magic trick that we can use to understand each other?
I'm open to suggestions. Please.