[Aliantha]

My kids were really close to my Mum. We lived with her.

She died of Cancer a few years ago, and she stayed at home right till the end and died at home in her bed. The kids were there for the whole thing and we talked about it constantly through the whole process. They knew Mum had cancer - we even talked about the mechanics of the disease - and when she finally said she wanted to give up the fight and just be as comfortable as possible for the end, I had to tell my boys that grandma was going to die.

I never said anything about heaven, but I've always told my kids that I believe we have a soul which leaves our body when it gets too tired to go on, and so this is how I handled it. Naturally they were very upset, regardless of how much I had tried to prepare them for it, but we all cried together and I think that's part of the process. I personally believe that kids need to know their parents are grieving and that it's ok to be sad just like everyone else.

Just a final note, during the last week of Mum's illness, I sent my boys to stay with my Dad. They got to say their goodbyes to grandma and at the time they knew that it was the last time they'd get to see her.

The reason I did this is because for one thing, I wanted them to be with someone who would be absolutely available for them during a time when I had no choice but to wholly focused on my Mum and her palliative care. She chose to die at home, and it was the final thing I could do for her rather than send her to a hospital to die. I didn't want my kids to feel that I didn't have time for them, and quite frankly, I didn't want them around a house which was full of leathal drugs.

Anyway, that's how I dealt with it. I have to admit, writing this has made me cry a little all over again. Some for my Mum whom I miss every day of my life, but mostly for my kids. They loved her so much and I feel so sorry that they've lost her. She was devoted to them...her only grandchildren.