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Ten good things about having short arms
You don’t have to use your hands to wipe yer bum
(now that’s got you all thinking ...)
Your hands keep your boobs warm in cold weather.
Someone else always offers to carry the shopping.
You can get out of applauding (it’s a strange thing to do anyway ...)
You’ve got a good excuse for not putting up Christmas decorations.
No one ever nicks your jackets.
You never have to haggle over the arm rest in the cinema.
If you’re fighting with someone, they just hold their arm out straight to your forehead and you’re stuffed.
Handcuffs don’t reach (although this might be a disadvantage!)
You never bang your funny bone.
Ten bad things about having short arms
You can’t pull your knickers out of yer bum crack.
You can’t reach your wine glass if it’s the other side of your plate.
Holding small print at arms length to read just doesn’t work.
When cleaning the loo, you have to put your head down the pan.
People presume that someone else has to wipe your bum.
If you put something out of reach of a child, they can still reach it.
You regularly burn your nipples whilst ironing.
You can’t hail a taxi without running into the road in front of it.
Lighting fireworks at arms length is risky.
Throwing a punch at someone doesn’t do much damage.
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