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We had a patient set himself on fire on our front porch once. It wasn't clear whether this was an intentional act, or just that the dude was so drunk lighting his cigarette represented more than the usual challenge.
One of our EMT's came in and annouced, "Hey, there's a guy on fire on the front porch."
She was VERY perturbed when my only response was, "Well, did you put him out?"
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