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footfootfoot · 07-08-2008, 09:01 PM

When I was a bike mechanic I worked in a shop that took in hundreds of repairs a month. By the end of the year there were some abandoned bikes, and after a year or so passed we'd pull off any parts we'd installed and set the bikes aside for cannibalization if there were any decent parts or they'd go into the "huffy throw" pile otherwise.

Most of the abandoned repairs were bikes that weren't worth the cost of the repair, we'd tell the customer up front that the bike wasn't worth fixing, sometimes even for a flat tire, but they'd insist and for a while we never required deposits.(go figure)

Anyway once a year we'd convene at one guys house out in the country and have a bacchanalian orgy of drinking, fireworks and ritual bike sacrifice as a way to purge ourselves of anger and frustration at having to work on crappy bikes all year long and deal with insane customers.

The huffy throw deserves another thread so I'll stick to the pyrotechnic part of the story.

One year we built a black powder canon out of the frame tubes of some junker. It look just like the guns on a battleship, three different barrel ODs gradually getting smaller towards the muzzle. For a touch hole we brazed on a grease zerk. To finish it off we brazed it to a piece of leaf spring as a base.

A teaspoon of black powder made a nice bang which would stop conversation, as drinking continued one of the yahoos made himself in charge of filling and lighting the thing. After a while a bang wasn't enough and he started adding more and more black powder, the last time he filled it I saw him dump about a half cup or so into the tube.

He lit the match and there was a deafening blast which threw him backwards about ten feet. He sat there staring at the ground for a long time. The host grabbed the remains of the cannon and it disappeared. All that was left was the leaf spring and the breech. The zerk was gone as was the rest of the tubing.

Knucklehead was deaf for several hours and probably doesn't hear too well toady. That was the beginning of the end of the yearly festival.

07-08-2008, 09:01 PM	#60
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	When I was a bike mechanic I worked in a shop that took in hundreds of repairs a month. By the end of the year there were some abandoned bikes, and after a year or so passed we'd pull off any parts we'd installed and set the bikes aside for cannibalization if there were any decent parts or they'd go into the "huffy throw" pile otherwise. Most of the abandoned repairs were bikes that weren't worth the cost of the repair, we'd tell the customer up front that the bike wasn't worth fixing, sometimes even for a flat tire, but they'd insist and for a while we never required deposits.(go figure) Anyway once a year we'd convene at one guys house out in the country and have a bacchanalian orgy of drinking, fireworks and ritual bike sacrifice as a way to purge ourselves of anger and frustration at having to work on crappy bikes all year long and deal with insane customers. The huffy throw deserves another thread so I'll stick to the pyrotechnic part of the story. One year we built a black powder canon out of the frame tubes of some junker. It look just like the guns on a battleship, three different barrel ODs gradually getting smaller towards the muzzle. For a touch hole we brazed on a grease zerk. To finish it off we brazed it to a piece of leaf spring as a base. A teaspoon of black powder made a nice bang which would stop conversation, as drinking continued one of the yahoos made himself in charge of filling and lighting the thing. After a while a bang wasn't enough and he started adding more and more black powder, the last time he filled it I saw him dump about a half cup or so into the tube. He lit the match and there was a deafening blast which threw him backwards about ten feet. He sat there staring at the ground for a long time. The host grabbed the remains of the cannon and it disappeared. All that was left was the leaf spring and the breech. The zerk was gone as was the rest of the tubing. Knucklehead was deaf for several hours and probably doesn't hear too well toady. That was the beginning of the end of the yearly festival. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs