[DanaC]

When I was at school there was just an assumption that I would go to college and then to university. What would have been far more sensible really, would have been to take a year or two out and get a job after school. As it was I went straight through to a sixth-form college, where I proceeded to fuck up my education prior to dropping out entirely.

My brother also went to college straight from school and left the course partway through. He wanted to be out in the world. I don't know if the same assumptions were made of him as they were of me. I was more inclined towards traditional academic subjects and was also six years younger. Attitudes towards and expectations of education went through a shift between the early 80s when he was finishing school and the late 80s when I was. I think the assumptions made of Our Kid were about going to art college because he was extremely talented, whereas the assumptions made about me was that I would go on to a red brick university and do a humanities degree.

I am so glad I dropped out. Not that it didn't make me miserable for years....but I'd have gone and done an English degree, and most likely come out with a barely respectable degree, having partied for three years.

I think for my brother's girls, the assumptions are similarly divided. Amelia (14 years old) is very, very clever, but she seems to have a strong desire to do things. She's quite purposeful in that way. She works as a volunteer at a cat rescue centre every Sunday and has carved herself a little niche there because she's good with animals. I think there is a general assumption that she'll probably go to college and do A'levels. I don't think anybody is making any assumptions about her as far as university is concerned. Not because she couldn't, or because it's not what our family does, but just because she will only do something if it really inspires her and seems to have some purpose and may well find herself a different route to wherever it is she decides to go. Soph on the other hand, I think we'd all be quite startled and a little disappointed (in that way grownups are when they see a talented youngster choose not to pursue that talent) if she didn't end up going all the way in education.

That said, I don't think that those assumptions are communicated particularly strongly to them. They have been brought up to know that their choices are their own and respected. They also are likely to have a slightly different view of education than some youngsters because they've seen their mother and their auntie return to education in their 30s (their mum finished a nursing degree two years ago); their Dad spent much of the early years of Amelia's life doing his NLP training; my friend J, who's always been close to the girls, is currently a full-time student and I think a couple of their mum's friends are at university as mature students. I think the girls see education as quite a wide and age-open thing.