[Shawnee123]

I was expected to go to college. I wanted to go to college. I was a great student in HS...good grades, sports, student council, class pres sophomore year. I loved it.

My parents didn't go to college and they wanted us to. My older brother went to a nice private school but he played football so I'm sure he got some financial help there. Then they sent him for his master's degree as he was graduate assistant coach. My brother is very smart, got good grades in college.

Was able to go to a smaller private school; looking back I would have done that much differently, probably would have gone to Ohio State if I had known better.

I just wasn't ready, emotionally. I made it through because I am a hell of a test taker, and was pretty good at writing papers. My heart wasn't in it, though. I think in these times schools (at least smaller ones like mine) are more in tune with student success and I may have received the help I needed to adjust. I went from a smallish HS (111 in my graduating class) to a smallish private college where it seemed everyone had money. I know that's not true but there was a huge proportion of students from families of means. My family did well, but not to the level I was seeing at college. I sort of just skated through, and I regret it. I felt like that fish out of water, and I didn't now how to deal with it.

I remember my sophomore year my dad was driving me back and I wanted so badly to tell him I didn't want to go. I mean, I'm really glad I finished and would not have THIS job (for what it's worth) without the BA but I think if I had waited, and had known where my real stengths lie I would have had a much better experience with much better results.

My mom's theory is that it came easy to me; my brother always studied so hard and I hardly studied. Perhaps it meant more to him.

My younger brother (8 years younger than I am; 10 years younger than the older one) started at college playing baseball but later told my parents it wasn't for him and to save their money. He is doing really well now, too. I was too scared to do the same thing, but little bro got the advantage of my parent's hindsight; he is also very level-headed (yes, unlike me) and probably made his case very well.

I do believe that no education is ever wasted; every part of that experience made me who I am today. Also, being a liberal arts college I was able to entertain my love of literature and find a new love of art...most of my electives were in those kinds of classes. I also worked in the college cafeteria which were some of the best times from college.

Now I think about getting a master's degree...but I hate school. I love to learn, I love to read, I love to research...but to actually go back to school...I don't know.