I appreciate the support, but it's beyond that point. I tried the 24 hours (and 48 and 72) of relaxation. The minute I dove back into my work, all full of optimism and enthusiasm I was right back in a very bad place.
Making myself sick includes: nausea every night before bed, with actual vomiting on occasion; compulsive eating; severe stomach aches; and a resurgence in anxiety and depression symptoms that I've kept locked down for the last several years.
This is not the kind of sick that can continue for another three weeks, unless I want to make myself seriously unwell in a way that will take months to recover from. And that's assuming that I would be able to recover this time. I drove myself to the precipice. Now is the time to back up and re-evaluate where I stand.
SG, if I can find a ticket down for a reasonable price, I'll come see you and we can have a pint (of soda for me) and curry.
For right now, I'm happy to fix my head and continue supporting my girlfriend in finishing her thesis.
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