1. How does one 'Jarf', mon.
By being absent.
2. How often do you change your sheets?
I don't, I live on a couch. I wash my covers and pillow and vacuum the couch about every 2 weeks.
3. Does Pat really have 2 penises?
Pat needs 3 penises.
4. Does the left brain know that love is fleeting?
No, it is convinced that love can be for forever, it's a hopeless romantic.
5. What color is the number 2?
Brown, brownish-green sometimes.
6. Go back in time and kill one person in the cradle. who?
You, so we can have Jinx all to ourselves. :p
7. crimson or clover?
Clover.
8. Where's the beef?
In the fridge, I'm making meatloaf later.
9. ketchup or mustard on your hotdog?
Chili and cheese, but if I can't have that...BBQ sauce.
10. Which of the previous questions is the only one that really matters?
"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." [Matt22:37-40]
Wait, that was one of the questions wasn't it?
Feel better LJ? Your quiz is not wasted and has now received proper acknowledgment. 
For easy copy and paste for the rest of ya'll:
1. How does one 'Jarf', mon.
2. How often do you change your sheets?
3. Does Pat really have 2 penises?
4. Does the left brain know that love is fleeting?
5. What color is the number 2?
6. Go back in time and kill one person in the cradle. who?
7. crimson or clover?
8. Where's the beef?
9. ketchup or mustard on your hotdog?
10. Which of the previous questions is the only one that really matters?