I haven't done one of these in AGES ....
1. How does one 'Jarf', mon.
Not in polite company
2. How often do you change your sheets?
We bought some new ones on our wedding anniversary
3. Does Pat really have 2 penises?
No, but he'd like you to pat it twice
4. Does the left brain know that love is fleeting?
I like SG's answer here
5. What color is the number 2?
Khaki
6. Go back in time and kill one person in the cradle. who?
I'm taking this one too seriously and am incapable of answering
7. crimson or clover?
Crimson
8. Where's the beef?
In the fields, but it ends up on my plate 
9. ketchup or mustard on your hotdog?
Ketchup
10. Which of the previous questions is the only one that really matters?
Number Nine, dummies!