[ZenGum]

1. How does one 'Jarf', mon?

Take one hard-boiled egg, some non-oil-based lubricant, a reversible pump, the consenting adult partner of your choice, and some ordinary household glue. Positions yourselves in the well known "Inverted elephant fighting with a sealion" pose. Let me know when you've done that, I'll PM you with the rest.

2. How often do you change your sheets?

After every Klan meeting.

3. Does Pat really have 2 penises?

No. He has two penes.

4. Does the left brain know that love is fleeting?

Damn, I knew I left my brain around here somewhere. Has it got lucky while I've been gone?

5. What color is the number 2?

Spicy, with a hint of wasabi.

6. Go back in time and kill one person in the cradle. who?

Myself. That way I create a paradox and destroy all the world! Bwahahahahaaahahaaahahaaa!

7. crimson or clover?

I have no idea what you are talking about.

8. Where's the beef?

That's what she said.

9. ketchup or mustard on your hotdog?

Pat can have both ketchup AND mustard on his "hot dogs".

10. Which of the previous questions is the only one that really matters?

You're presuming that one of them did.