[ZenGum]

Originally Posted by monster

(I've translated for you, because I knew you weren't expecting it....)

1. How many people do you know named Claudia?
   Depends - do you mean in the biblical sense of "know"?
   
2. Can you touch your toes?
   More importantly, can I touch yours?
   
3. Which sport do you play most often?
   Well, I had a girlfriend who called it that.
   
4. How long since you opened a fortune cookie?
   She called it that, too.
   
5. Should beer be drunk from a bottle, can, glass, keg, or direct
   from the pub tap? (Never is not an option)
   Lapped from the navel.
   
6. Did you see the second plane hit the WTC live on air?
   Did you see me hit on that stewardess last week? Ooooh yeah!
   
7. Do you find Family Guy funny?
   That's what she said!
   
8. What is your favorite color?
   Nipple pink.
   
9. Do you have a passport?
   A passport to paradise, baby, climb aboard!
   
10. What color are your underpants today? (if not wearing any, color
    = nekkid!)
    What a silly question.
    
11. What was the most recent holiday souvenir you bought?
    The doctor still isn't sure, but it's resistant to penicillin.

Oh and by the way, I was expecting you.